Anti New Year’s Resolutions ✨
A few loving things to consider for those of us who are overwhelmed by the pressure to achieve more and work harder at this time of year: your life is already purposeful, you're doing enough, it's okay to move in your own time. Plus some supportive resources to uplift you during this shift in time✨
As a new year is soon upon us, I find myself reflecting on all the pressures we receive in our culture to do something extraordinary with our lives. I feel that this pressure is heightened around this time of year because it's a time when most of us are reflecting on what we've accomplished and what goals we might like to set moving forward. Even though I have done significant work to undo this conditioning so that I can flow with the seasons instead of living by arbitrary timelines, I am still confronted with a lingering feeling of "not enoughness" at each year end.
Here's how this usually sounds inside my head:
"I feel like I should be doing something more, but I don't know what.
Am I even on the right path?
Should I open a bakery?
Did I study the right thing?
What do I even have to show for myself?
I'm not good at anything.
Maybe I should study something and get really good at it.
*insert a bazillion random business ideas here*
I should really try harder.
I should have kept up at *insert random hobby*, I could have been so good at that by now if I wasn't so lazy."
You get the point. All of this is particularly exacerbated by another societal pressure, which is the pressure to find your purpose. I can't tell you how many times the idea of pursuing my purpose has haunted me with fret and worry. What is my purpose? What if I don't have one purpose? What if I skipped over my purpose? What if I know my purpose, but I can't pursue it because I have to make money to live? When I go down this rabbit hole, it usually ends up with me curled up in my bed scrolling Tik Tok for 4 hours (or sometimes more *sshhhhh*), which I can assure you, is most definitely not my purpose, but wow is it a good pacifier.
This is why, I want to share some reflections with you that could help counteract these pressures, if they overwhelm you like they do me. These are just a few reflections that have supported me through this very tough year, that I hope provide a soothing balm for you too.
Consider these reflections my list of anti-New Years Resolutions.
Consider that your life is already purposeful.
Back in April, when I was in the thick of being laid off and experiencing a lot of inner hardship, I found myself really reflecting on what it meant to live a purposeful life. What came forth was the feeling that my life was already purposeful, just as yours is. Life is not measured by the quantity of our successes, but by the quality of our love -- love for others, love for the planet, animals, plants and anything else you can imagine.
2. Consider that what you are doing is enough.
Some of my sweetest memories are the result of experiencing the most ordinary moments. Playing rummy with my grandma, dancing with my sister, painting in my Aba's studio, feeding cows with my family, picking blueberries with my mom, singing silly tunes with my husband. So often it's easy to fall for the myth that our lives must be visibly extraordinary! We have to change the world, make a profit, become famous. But really, there is beauty in simplicity. Of leaning into the present moment, taking it step by step and appreciating the ordinary. However you are living your life, and living each day is more than enough. If you are looking to cultivate more joy in your day to day, I invite you to check out this blog post I wrote called "5 Ways to Be Happier Every Day."
3. Consider that it's okay to move in your own time.
I find it absolutely bonkers that the time of year we are expected to set the highest goals is the time of year when most of us (in the northern hemisphere) are physically at our lowest. I have spent the last 8 weeks getting sick on and off again, and all I want to do is lay on my couch and play cozy games. There ain't no high goal setting shenanigans going on here. BUT, I do find that with the shift in seasons, it's helpful for me to tune into my needs and make adjustments as necessary. I can't hold myself to the same expectations that I had for myself during Summer and Fall, because Winter has its own rhythm. Aligning myself with the seasons (along with listening to my cycle) has really allowed me to learn how to move in my own time. This has allowed me to increase my self-trust, intuition, creativity and self-care, and encouraged me to decrease comparison and self-criticism. At the same time, it has also challenged me to go against some society norms *ahem like setting ultra high New Year's Resolutions*.
I know this can be hard, which is why I want to offer a loving and gentle reminder that if you feel overwhelmed with the pressure to set goals and work harder, but something inside you is just pushing back, it's okay to move in your own time. You're allowed to set goals when you want to, whether that's now, or 3 or 6 months from now, or never at all. You're allowed to slow down, rest, and take it easy because that's what your body needs. It's okay to say no to societal expectations, and tune into your own inner rhythm.
If you are wanting a little extra loving support through Winter and are learning to move with the season, you may also be interested in my new workbook "Illuminate: A Self-Love Workbook for Winter."
Welcome to Winter!
As the darkest and coldest season, Winter can make us feel lonely, exhausted, sad and worried. Yet, it’s at this time of year, when we often feel the most pressure to perform with Winter Holidays, and the start of New Year. Well, this year, I encourage you to try something new. What if you leaned into Winter? What if you allowed yourself to welcome in the challenges? What if instead of pushing yourself harder, you allowed yourself a moment to breath, reflect, and tune inward to what your mind, body and soul are truly longing for? Celebration, connection, rest, creativity, and self-nurturing.
That’s exactly what “Illuminate” will help you do.
In this workbook & toolkit you will find:
Welcome note from moi (Anna!)
4 Winter Energy Allies to support you through the season
17 Unique Journal Prompts to help you work through loneliness, exhaustion, sadness and worry so that you can better nourish, celebrate and love yourself and your loved ones.
5 Activity Sheets to help you identify the people who light up your life, how you like to rest, what brings you joy, what worries you want to let go of, and how you enjoy expressing yourself!
2 Mindfulness Tools to help you ease worry and anxiety so you can come back to a place of peace, love and presence.
Encouraging love note
This is an editable PDF download, so you can work through it on your computer or print it out!
Wherever this message finds you, please know that I am sending you an abundance of health and happiness for you and your loved ones! I hope 2023 has treated you well, and that 2024 treats you even better! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, and please know that you are always enough!