I STILL get Triggered when I see Photos of Myself. Here are 5 Tools I use to Recover.
“As I have done the work to overcome negative body image, I have learned that seeing photos of myself is one of my top triggers.
I share this with you because even though I do have a very loving and nourishing relationship with my body, I’m still healing from so many years of being my body’s biggest enemy. I share this because, when you’re on the path of healing it’s easy to be triggered and immediately fall into the trap of thinking that you haven’t made any progress.”
Even though I have been healing my relationship with my body over the last six years, and have a very loving relationship with myself—I can still get triggered when I see photos of myself. Let me explain.
As I’m writing this it’s Saturday night. This morning I had the luxury of sleeping in and easing into the day. After breakfast and two espressos I started really feelin’ myself. I mean, I put on Bad Bunny and the twerking could not be stopped. I felt sexy and alive in my body. I was dancing, smiling, laughing. It was amazing. Afterward, Christian and I went on a long walk in the sunshine and I felt so completely present. When we got back, I got dressed up for an at home photoshoot I planned. I put some more reggaeton on and was totally vibin’ as I put on my makeup, curled my hair and put on a bright, bold outfit that just exudes “me.” I felt great!
But then, it happened. Christian, who is so loving and supportive of me, was my photographer for this shoot. As he clicked away and I saw some of the photos, my heart sank. I went from feeling totally alive and vibrant in my body to feeling completely insecure and self-conscious. I didn’t say anything and did my best to keep going, but it was challenging to muster the energy and vibrancy I felt just 20 minutes before. My mind was a battlefield. I could hear all the negative thoughts about myself streaming in, and at the same time, I was using every tool I could to combat them. By the end of it, I was exhausted. I was so excited for this photoshoot. Excited to dress up. To use my creative muscles and play. But, seeing my photos was triggering for me.
As I have done the work to overcome negative body image, I have learned that seeing photos of myself is one of my top triggers. I share this with you because even though I do have a very loving and nourishing relationship with my body, I’m still healing from so many years of being my body’s biggest enemy. I share this because, when you’re on the path of healing it’s easy to be triggered and immediately fall into the trap of thinking that you haven’t made any progress. You can feel frustrated for being triggered and think “ugh! Why is this coming up? I thought I was over this!!” But here’s the thing, just because you’re triggered, doesn’t mean you haven’t been healing or that you haven’t made any progress. Chances are, the fact that you’re even identifying it as a trigger is a testament to how far you’ve come!
Even though being triggered is never fun, it can still happen to anyone—no matter how far you’ve come. However, you can strengthen your response to being triggered so that you bounce back faster and don’t spiral down a negative path for days on end.
Below are some tools that helped me today that I hope can help you overcome any body image triggers you might have too!
1) Name the monster to tame the monster.
In other words call your trigger for what it is—a trigger. Whatever you are feeling in that moment is not a reflection of who you currently are. It’s your body and mind recalling a traumatic experience—and trying to get out of it. When I was looking at my photos and feeling disheartened, I had to talk myself through why I was feeling that way. It wasn’t because I took bad photos, or because I’m unattractive. It’s because my body and mind have so many negative emotional memories attached to seeing photos of myself. Because I was in a triggered state, I wasn’t able to see my photos through loving eyes. I had to remind myself that I’ve had this response before and that it would pass. It was not an accurate reflection of who I am or how far I’ve come.
2) Connect with how you feel inside your body instead of how you look.
Studies have found that one of the biggest barriers to women being satisfied with their bodies is something called self-objectification. This is a phenomenon in which women internalize the observer's gaze as their primary perception of self. One of the reasons why something like seeing photos of yourself, or seeing yourself in the dressing room mirror can be so triggering is because it takes you outside of your body and forces you to see yourself from an outside perspective.
This is why it is absolutely necessary that you cultivate a connection with your body based on how you feel inside your body instead of how you look. Since I had spent the morning dancing in my room and getting fresh air, I had positive feelings to draw on to overcome my trigger. I knew I felt good in my body today even if my trigger temporarily clouded my vision. I leaned on the connection I cultivated inside myself as the truth and mentally called out the lies my trigger was telling me about myself. To connect with how you feel inside your body, it helps to do something physical. You can stretch, dance, go on a walk or just simply move your body in any way you want. Another way you can cultivat this connection is by practicing body scans. Overtime, you will become more in tune with your body and how you feel inside yourself. Use this feeling as your compass instead of your appearance.
3) Step away and allow yourself some breathing space.
It can take a lot of mental and emotional work to come down from being triggered. After my photoshoot, I knew I wasn’t going to feel great right away. So, I changed into something cozy, went to the kitchen to cook something yummy and put on a show. I needed to do something that distracted me and took me out of the negative mental state I was in so I wouldn’t spiral. And, let me tell you—it really helped! By the end of it, I felt like I was in a more relaxed state to work through what had happened. I was able to see things more clearly, and was even able to take a look at my photos—and loved them! It’s important to allow yourself time to step away after being triggered and focus your mind and attention on something else. This helps you avoid getting into an obsessive rut that can spiral out of control. Do any activity you think will avert your attention elsewhere. I find that activities where your body is in engaged in some way are particularly helpful—cooking, cleaning, painting your nails, working out, coloring, or going on a walk are a few examples.
4) Forgive yourself.
At the end of the day you’re only human. There’s no human on the planet who isn’t triggered from time to time—not even Michelle Obama or the Dalai Lama. As I said in the beginning, being triggered does not erase any of the progress that you have made in your healing journey. Forgiving yourself let’s you keep the triggered event isolated instead of letting it derail you for days on end, and gives you permission to move on to something more positive.
5) Practice gentle self-care.
As I’m writing this, I am bundled up in a luscious fuzzy blue robe and will probably spend the rest of the evening watching Bridgerton. After experiencing a trigger, it’s important that you nurture yourself like you would a dear friend, or a child who got really emotionally worked up. Take the easy route—do something sweet, caring and nice for yourself. This sends yourself and your body the message “I still love you. I’m here for you no matter what.”
Now, I know that experiencing triggers can be really hard, but they can be managed! I really hope these suggestions help you the next time you feel triggered. And, remember—no setback, trigger, or mistake can erase the progress you have made in your healing journey. You have come so far and have grown so much! Know that the valleys and mountains you experience are all a part of the healing process. Wherever you are at on your journey, I am so proud of you, and sending you encouragement to keep going.
How do you feel when you see photos of yourself? If this is a trigger for you, what suggestion from above would you like to try? Let me know in the comments below!
If this resonated with you, I would love to invite you to sign up for my free mini-course “How to Love Your Body in 3 Days!'“